It’s the news the ticket-holding members of the Beyhive were dreading: Beyoncé, under doctors’ orders, will not play Coachella 2017. You did see that baby bump at the Grammys, right?

The festival has been headlined by the likes of Kanye West and Calvin Harris, and this year welcomes The Weeknd, Beyonce and Eminem ... response online. Fake Coachella posters do the rounds ...